Resilience, grit, growth mindset, empathy, self-care, burnout. These are words that I continue to hear often. When I saw the title of Damon Zahariades’ book, The Mental Toughness Handbook: A Step-by-Step Guide to Facing Life’s Challenges, Managing Negative Emotions, and Overcoming Adversity with Courage and Poise, I first thought, “wow, that’s a really long title.” Next and more importantly, I thought, “YES, that hits home for me!” It was an easy and fun read, and I hope you can learn from a few of the main ideas that jumped out to me.
The Big Idea
Let’s start by unpacking what mental toughness actually is. Zahariades’ simple definition: mental toughness is durability in the face of adversity. We then can break that down to understand the four elements that comprise mental toughness:
- Our reaction to stress: Do we give up or do we keep on going?
- Our response to emotion: How do we deal with frustration, anger, or disappointment when life feels unfair?
- Resilience: When things go wrong, do we try again or blame others?
- Grit: When we face challenges, do we press forward or throw in the towel?
After framing the big idea, Zahariades shares the 7 traits of mentally tough people. Take a moment to reflect. What is a strength or opportunity area for you?
- Ability to disentangle yourself from things you can’t influence
- Flexibility in handing unanticipated events
- Strong self-awareness
- Willingness to face uncertain circumstances
- Ability to bounce back from disappointments
- Emotional mastery
- Practical optimism
Then the handbook gets specific about how to BE mentally tough and how to BUILD that mindset continually. A few themes and ideas (some from the mentally tough Navy SEALS) that I will remember and practice:
- How catastrophic thinking hampers the ability to adapt
- How to change the perception of failure
- How developing impulse control increases mental toughness
- Emphasizing positive self-talk!
- Focusing on small wins
- Visualizing desired outcomes
- Anticipating everything that might go wrong